Spinning Plates by Sophie Ellis-Bextor

Author:Sophie Ellis-Bextor [Ellis-Bextor, Sophie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781529363791
Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton Ltd
Published: 2021-09-02T00:00:00+00:00

2005 when we said ‘I do’. I’d say it again now.

13

MOTHERHOOD: The Beginning – ‘Love Is Here’

Puffy with pre-eclampsia and the night before I became someone’s Mama.

Motherhood – the biggest, spinniest plate of them all. So big and heavy that actually it isn’t one plate at all, it’s a collection of plates spinning on top of a large plate, and those plates have plates on them, too. It’s a full-on dinner service drawn by Dr Seuss and I had no idea what I was getting into when I had my first. Then again, who does?

And as my babies grow, the plates grow too. My teenager is beautiful and complex and needs me so much, yet he’s naturally pulling away and gaining independence. None of this is unique, but I honestly don’t think folk talk as much about the parental needs of the bigger kids. Or at least, there’s a lot of fixation on new parenthood and having a baby. When I had my eldest, Sonny, he made sure I had an inkling of the scope of our relationship when I first laid eyes on him. Two weeks after my twenty-fifth birthday I gave birth, on the morning of 23 April 2004, and on that afternoon I was taken in a wheelchair to visit my brand-new baby. He was born early so he’d been whisked away as soon as I had him. Now, an hour or two later, I was finally able to meet him properly and the two emotions that struck me the most were: 1) Sonny was a whole, complete person who just happened to be a baby when I met him; and 2) even if I had twelve babies I would still always wonder about having a thirteenth. (Don’t freak out, Richard . . . if there’s ever been an effective contraceptive then it’s a year in and out of lockdown with all our offspring. I’m knackered.)

Some days I compare raising my kids to running and managing a business. I feel as if I have a box file in my head for each and it’s filled with admin. The ‘Ray’ box might be full of notes like current shoe size, when to book a haircut (usually overdue), bring down the next size up of clothes from the attic, email the school to see if Ray’s guitar has shown up, book the playdate he keeps asking for, etc.

That’s day-to-day life, but the other analogy that I feel works for the more emotional side of mothering is that having five kids feels like being a spaceman tasked with nurturing life on five planets. I have to regularly visit each planet to check how the plants are growing, provide shade for any areas burning in the heat, water what needs watering, check the overall ecosystem and adjust accordingly. My spaceman job is pretty twenty-four-hour because all my planets need little tweaks all the time. They all respond individually to things and all flourish and bloom under different conditions. I am not

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.